


Backwards and Downhill into Truth

by sweetomegachild



Category: The Grand Tour (TV) RPF, Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: F/F, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-17 09:55:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21052466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetomegachild/pseuds/sweetomegachild
Summary: In the aftermath of Richard’s hillclimb crash, Jeremy learns something surprising.





	Backwards and Downhill into Truth

**Author's Note:**

> Deals with both of Richard's accidents. 
> 
> Not Brit picked it Beta'd. Sorry bout that.

They learned over a decade ago that everything could change in a .4th of a second and as Jeremy Clarkson stared down at the engulfed white Rimac he wondered almost idly how long it had taken for life to change irreversibly. His hand was clenched on James May's bicep as the younger man kept mumbling about seeing their mate dragged from the burning wreckage. A quick glance was all he needed to realize James was completely shutting down. Before Jeremy could think of any words of comfort, the walkie that he had forgotten in his other hand crackled to life as down the hill Tim, Richard’s security guard, raised his own walkie to his mouth. The walkie creaked as Jeremy reflectively squeezed the plastic preparing to hear the worst coming through the air. Instead, the words that met his ears made his heart soar (not that he would ever admit it).

“It’s alright. He winked at me,” the disembodied voice of the security manager came across the line.

James snatched the walkie-talkie from Jeremy’s hand, “What did you say?”

“He's fine really,” Tim assured, “you boys can come on down to see him, if you want.”

James took off running at very unlike Captain Slow speed, yelling demands behind him in a very unlike James way for his mobile, his wallet, and Richard’s mobile. 

Before Jeremy started running after his colleague, he tapped a stunned Xander on the shoulder to get a move on to fetch the items that James just requested. By the time Jeremy arrived at the location where they were attending to Richard, James was sitting on the ground next to Richard's head and his fingers were running through Richard's hair in a contemplative way as if he was checking for head injuries. Two paramedics were working on securing Richard’s knee in some complicated brace, while a third was talking to a race official.

“Well, Hammo, you’ve outdone yourself.” Jeremy joked, “What once every decade you have to give a major crush a go?”

“At least I can remember binning this one,” Hammond joked back at the bigger man.

“I think I liked it better when we didn't see it actually happen,” James replied his fingers still in Richard's hair.

Before Jeremy could reply to either man, Xander arrived with the things that James asked for and shoved both mobiles into James’ hand before he plopped down on the other side of Richard, who patted his knee in thanks.

James waggled one of the mobiles at Richard, “You want me to call or you?”

“Best be me,” Richard replied, his hand reaching for his mobile. “Mindy will want to talk to you, but she’ll need to hear from me first.”

Jeremy waved a hand at where the paramedics were stabilizing Richard’s knee, “Don’t you want to wait till they're done patching you up?”

“Too many people were filming, it's going to be all over the internet at any

moment now,” James shook his head. “Don't need the girls seeing what we saw before he talks to them.”

Richard just nodded in agreement as he punched the screen to connect to his wife.

Giving him a moment, Jeremy moved towards the paramedic as the race official moved off, “What can you tell me about his injuries?” 

The young woman shook her head, “I’m sorry. We can only speak to the patient or his medical proxy.”

Before Jeremy could puff himself up to his intimidating I-am-the-boss-whether-you-work-for-me-or-not stance, James stood and produced a card from his wallet, “This is all the authority you need to speak with me and he's alright to hear, too.”

The woman studied the card for a moment before nodding, “Mr. Hammond is remarkably lucky. Honestly, we weren't sure if we were going to even have someone to work on here or just a body to take away. Fortunately, it looks like he has a broken knee and that's about it. Surgery will most likely be required to regain function of the knee.”

“Where will he be taken,” James asked.

“For his own comfort, he’ll be airlifted to the nearest hospital in St. Gallen.” As the two paramedics finished stabilizing Richard’s knee, she handed the card back to James, “Now that we have stabilized the knee, we will go prepare for the helicopter arrival in about five minutes. You can fly with him, if you prefer.”

“Yes, probably for the best, he tends…”

Before he could continue, Richard tugged insistently on James trouser leg, “She wants to talk to you. Doesn't believe I'm actually okay, even though I'm talking to her.”

Jeremy thanked the young woman as James became distracted by the phone being handed to him.

“Mindy,” James questioned into the phone he took from Richard. “Yeah, I'm not sure how, but he is okay... Looks like a broken knee… Course, I'll stay with him… Don't listen to what he tells you, it was horrific. I never want to see what happened again.”

“Don't scare her, you pillock.”

“We always promised to be honest with each other,” James batted away the hand that Richard was using to tug at his trousers. “I'm just honoring that.”

Richard heaved a great sigh, “You could be a little gentler. What are they doing with me?”

“Will be airlifted in a few minutes to hospital,” James sank to the ground next to Richard again, his hand settled on the injured man shoulder. “Probably going to need surgery to weld your knee back together.” Into the mobile, he assured Mindy, “Of course, I will be going with him... It's all right... Well it will be… Alright, love. Give the girls my love, too. We'll call you when he is settled.” James ended the call and shoved the mobile into his back pocket.

“Calling Sarah,” Richard asked, his hand resting on James knee.

“In a bit, Izzy is calling now.”

Jeremy stared at the two of them wondering when exactly their families had gotten so close. With a grunt, he settled on the ground next to Xander, “Andy and I will follow in one of the production vehicles to make sure everything's okay. We'll see if we can make arrangements for a few hotel rooms.’

“You and the crew need to get back home,” James replied. “There's no need for you to miss our flight, too.”

“I can stay,” Xander volunteered, speaking for the first time.

James shook his head, “You can take our stuff to hospital, then scarper right back home. Your mum with have my head if you miss that meeting.”

“But…”

“Nope, final word, and we are still your bosses,” Richard cut him off. “Even if we are slightly terrified of your Mum.”

Laughing lightly, Xander still tried to protest, “But…”

“Oi! Listen, you are going to go back up that hill, get our bags and head to hospital. On the way, you are going to call Aunt Sarah and your mum to let them know that everything is okay and you aren't completely emotionally scarred. Once you have seen that Uncle Rich is being taken care of, you will hop back in the production van and head to the airport. Clear,” James shook a finger at the young man.

“Yes, Uncle James,” Xander blushed, ducking his head.

Richard took the young man's hand, “I really am okay. I want you focusing on that interview Monday, cause this is a fantastic opportunity for you, alright?”

“Uh, what,” Jeremy looked at the three other men in confusion.

“Forchristsake, Jez, you have the memory of a hamster,” James waved his hand at Hammond. “Xander is my nephew.”

Jeremy continued to stare at Xander, “No, he isn't. He's too young.”

“He’s not one of Jane's boys. He's my sister Sarah's oldest,” James used that tone of voice that implied he thought Jeremy was an idiot.

“But Uncle Ri…”

Jeremy was cut off as James’ phone started ringing were it was still laying on Richard's chest. A picture of a younger Willow Hammond sitting at a piano illuminated the screen in Jeremy's line of sight before James scooped it up a flashed it at Richard.

“Want to answer it?”

Richard shook his head, “She called you. She needs to hear your voice.”

With a quick nod, James answered, “Hello, Miss Hammond.”

“Richard,” Jeremy waited until Richard tore his eyes from James and his quiet conversation before continuing, “you sure you okay with us heading back tonight? I can get Andy to make changes to our flights.”

“Thanks, Jez, but really James and I will be fine. If Tim and a couple of other security guys could stay it’d be a help, but the production team needs to head home.”

“Course, I’ll get Andy to talk to the boys, but I can’t imagine any of them not wanting to stay. In fact, we’ll probably have to fight most of the team to get them to go home.”

Richard smiled bashfully, “We have a loyal team, heh?”

Jeremy smiled back at him and patted his shoulder, “Yeah, we do, mate.”

“Alright, Wills, here’s Daddy.” James held the mobile to his chest, “she’s a little fragile, mate.” 

With concerned eyes, Richard took the phone, “Hello, love.”

As Richard talked to his daughter, Jeremy indicated that he wanted to speak to James. Both men groaned as they stood up and moved a small bit away. Once away from most of the people milling around, Jeremy turned to James, “What’s going on? Since when do you carry a medical proxy card for Hammond?”

“Few years now,” James pushed back his hair. “Since Sarah and I aren't married, we did it and it just seemed like a good idea for me and Rich, too.”

Jeremy blinked at his colleague for a couple of heartbeats, “I… I think… Yeah, I don't know. I'm going to find Andy and arrange to meet you and Hammond at hospital.”

As the two men parted and James headed back to Richard, Jeremy could just hear Richard telling James that Sarah wanted to talk to him over the distance sound of helicopter blades cutting through the air.

🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘

Jeremy was feeling particularly noble as he walked into the hospital. He heard one of the production girls talking about the fact that Xander's meeting was supposed to include James for some project on ITV's new streaming platform. Sure the 20-something (god, they were getting old) would show up, but how those idiots thought ITV would back a James May program without James May in the room was beyond Jeremy. However, if he stayed with Richard and James went home, it might have a chance. There was a late flight James could take out and only have to delay the meeting by a couple hours, so Jeremy decided that he would be the one to stay with Richard in hospital overnight. 

Walking towards Richard's room, he nodded at Keith, one of James's security team, who was stationed in such a way that it wasn't obvious that he was guarding the room while making sure press or fans wouldn't be sneaking in. As Keith stood, Jeremy held out his hand, “Thanks for volunteering to watch after the lads.” 

“Of course, Mr. Clarkson,” he shook the offered hand, “glad to help. What are you doing back here?”

Jeremy hooked a thumb over his shoulder, “Heard May actually had business tomorrow, so I thought I would relieve him of Hammond watch. Sorry for the sleepless night.”

As Keith nodded and resettled himself, Jeremy turned and headed to Richard’s room. The door swung open soundlessly, always the sign of an excellent hospital in his opinion. Jeremy walked as quietly as he could into the room hoping not to disturb if the lads were sleeping, instead he heard Mindy’s voice and the unmistakable sound of James’s and Richard’s laughter. Jeremy moved fully into the room and stared in shock. The two men were sharing the bed, or to be exact James was sitting on the bed with Richard’s back pressed to James’s chest and his arms around the younger man’s waist, their fingers intertwined. Richard’s good leg was tangled with James’s legs, bare toes pressed against his ankle. 

“What the actual fuck?” 

James and Richard looked up from the iPad sitting on the rolling tray. 

“Oh, cock,” James head dropped back against the mattress.

“Is that Jeremy,” Sarah’s voice came from the iPad speakers.

Richard rubbed at his nose, “Yeah, love.”

“Oh, you boys are going to have an interesting night,” Sarah’s voice was accompanied by Mindy’s giggle.

Jeremy stared at the device like it personally offended him, “You two are curled around each other like that, while facetiming your wiv… your…”

“Women works,” James lifted his head and looked at Jeremy. “And, yes. It isn't anything they haven't seen before.”

Jeremy gapped at this as a miracle happened and he was rendered speechless for a moment.

“I think you had better show us to Jez, darling,” Mindy suggested, promoting Richard to pick up the tablet and extend it towards the shocked man.

Shuffling closer, he was glad that a chair was next to the bed as he found his legs wobbly looking at the screen. He had expected the split screen of a group chat, but instead the two women were curled together on an unfamiliar leather Chesterfield. Mindy's head rested on Sarah's shoulder while Sarah's hand played with Mindy's long locks.

“I'm so fuckin confused,” Jeremy finally whispered, the quietest any of them had ever heard him.

“Jezza…”

“Mate…”

James and Richard started together, but it was Sarah's clear voice that carried on, “I know this all must be overwhelming, especially after the day you all have had, but please just listen to the boys. Alright?”

Jeremy nodded at the screen for a moment before finding his voice, “Of course, Sarah. Mindy, are you okay, love?”

“Yes, Jeremy, I’m fine,” Mindy smiled at the screen and then up at Sarah. She gave the other woman a kiss on the jaw, “Sarah has taken excellent care of us today. Just like James has taken care of Richard.”

Jeremy glanced at his colleagues just in time to see Richard mimic Mindy’s action, which he couldn’t have seen, against James’s neck.

“Jez, give the tablet back to the boys, please? We’ll just say goodnight and let you lads talk,” Sarah smiled.

“Night, ladies,” Jeremy handed the tablet to James and moved to the window allowing them some privacy. He could hear words of love and devotion passing between the four of them as they said goodnight. Staring out at the darkened city, Jeremy could see the reflection of his friends in the glass and felt a sharp pain that he was seeing the honest them for the first time. He watched as James put away the tablet and nuzzled his nose into Richard’s hair. A few more whispered words were exchanged before they shared a brief kiss and rested their foreheads together for a moment.

Taking a deep breath, James called, “Hey, Jezza? Can we talk for a minute?”

“Do you really think it will only take a minute,” Jeremy asked as he turned away from the window.

“Probably not,” Richard admitted. “We’ve been wanting to talk to you for ages, but well… It never seemed to be the right time or enough time.”

“How long? How long have you been fucking each other? And how the fuck did you brainwash those women into this?”

“Clarkson,” James voice was low and dangerous, “you have exactly two choices right now: calm the hell down and let us tell you the story or sod the fuck off. Your choice, but I will tell you that option two has some serious consequences.” 

Jeremy stared at James, “Like what?”

“The desolation of our partnership as soon as series three is finished.”

The staring contest continued enough beats for Richard to bite his thumbnail as he shifted closer to James. Finally Jeremy relented and moved back to the bedside chair.

“Can you at least tell me how long this has been going on?”

James chuckled, “Depends on who you ask.”

“I'm asking you, cockface,” Jeremy mumbled as he crossed his arms.

“Well, that's ironic,” Richard chuckled. “We really need to start at the beginning… Well, not the beginning, but the catalyst I guess. Remember how when I first woke up from the accident and I didn't know Mindy was my wife?”

Jeremy nodded, “Thought you were married to some French women.” 

“Hmm, in truth it was a lot less French and a little less woman. I was sure that I was married to this one,” Richard pointed a thumb over his shoulder.

Jeremy's eyes widened, “That must have been a shock.”

James sighed, “Only to poor Mindy. Rich and I had talked a few months before, in America, when you wrote ‘I'm Bi’ on that stupid Cadillac.”

“We were worried that you finally sussed out the truth. We talked about the fact that we… that we needed to be careful. We knew… we admitted to… loving each other, really,” Richard interjected.

“Yes,” James held him a little tighter, “and brilliantly bad timing. Had we been a little less blind, we probably would have figured out that there was something there during those black and white days, when I was writing boring car rags and he was whoring himself out for car companies in a suit and ridiculous hair. By the time we finally figured out why we always sought each other out at car shows and preview days, we had met our amazing women and Rich was leaving m… it behind to do Top Gear.”

“Is that why you suggested May for the show,” Jeremy asked Richard slightly confused and accusatory. “Did you think you could start something up with him? Think time away filming would give you an easy excuse for an affair?”

“God, no, Clarkson,” James glared at the other man. “Whatever this was and is, it was never an affair. We have never cheated. We could never hurt Mindy or Sarah or the girls by mucking up our relationships like that.”

Richard shook his head, “I wanted James with us because I knew he would be the perfect fit. The intellect to our buffoonery. I was very happy to have my friend back, but that was the limit.”

Jeremy leaned forward, nodding, “Okay. So, you weren't polishing each other's knobs at the beginning. You really are both bi?”

Twin head nods answered in the affirmative.

“And you have always been bi?”

James sighed, “That is how it works. You don't just wake up one morning and think, 'hmmm, might fancy cock today.’”

“Pretty sure that is exactly how you've woken up some mornings, considering how you've woken me up,” Richard giggled as James blushed and hid behind his hair.

“Ewww!,” Jeremy threw his hand up and flopped back in his chair. “Now I have images in my head that will never go away. I am scarred for life!”

Soon all three men were laughing hysterically and the previous tension in the room completely disappeared.

Once the laughter subsided, Jeremy looked fondly at his colleagues, “So, now, how do we get from you two pining to this quadrilateral of lurve?”

Richard and James smiled at each other, knowing that was as close as Jeremy would ever come to admitting his acceptance of their relationship.

“Okay,” Richard took a breath. “It definitely wasn't an easy journey. Like James said, Mindy was completely shocked and upset by everything. She struggled to believe that we weren't having an affair, but she also struggled to believe that my attraction to James wasn't a symptom of the bump on my head. I think she wanted to ban James from my room, hospital, maybe all of Leeds.”

“I was right there,” Jeremy sounded astonished. “How did I not see what was happening? I thought Mindy was clinging to James.”

James took up the narrative, “She did, but even as she sobbed in my arms, she told that she wished she could make me leave. I would have gone, but Rich and she needed me too much. I’ve always loved Mindy, not only as my mate's wife, but a remarkable woman and we had a strong connection to each other. She told me years later that she felt like I was the only person she could be weak around. Thankfully, as soon as I called Sarah about the accident, she was on a flight back from where she was following some ballerina around the continent. Sarah was able to ground Mindy, to get her focused back on Rich’s recovery.”

“The heart and the brain are infinitely capable of love.”

The other men looked at Richard. James with a soft, secret smile; and Jeremy with confusion.

“What, Hammond,” Jeremy asked.

Richard smiled, “That was Sarah's mantra although my recovery and that whole first year as we figured out what the hell was happening between all of us. Whenever one of us would get in a stropp or frantic or whatever, Sarah would gently hold whoever's face and say, ‘The heart and the brain are infinitely capable of love.’ Then she'd give a gentle kiss. Tis how she and Mindy ended up being the first of us to get a really good snog.”

“So, Mindy and Sarah are bi as well?”

James shook his head, “No, after a bit of self study and evaluation and a few months with an extremely discreet therapist we discovered that while Rich and I are bi, Sarah is pansexual and Mindy is demisexual.”

“Ey? What's that when its at home?”

“Well, for Mindy to be sexually attracted to someone she needs a deep and meaningful connection. Gender and appearance isn't as important as feeling and emotional attraction. Until we met, Mindy had never been that deeply connected to anyone. She wasn't a blushing virgin, but she wasn’t wildly experienced either. She struggled with allowing the friendship and friendly love she felt for Sarah and James to turn sexual, but once she fell completely in love… well… it was something.”

“Sarah is the opposite, almost nothing is a no go area for her as long as she is physically attracted to them. Before we met she dated men, women, trans, didn't really matter. Honestly, I think she was a little disappointed in herself for ending up settling down at all and with a bloke for that matter. She actually loves the fact that I'm bi and before we committed to this, she used to suggest that she wouldn't mind if I brought Richard or, um, Simmy home with me. I've always said that Sarah is an evil genius and planned all of this to get Mindy and Richard into bed with us.”

Jeremy laughed lightly, “Always said Sarah and Mindy were too good for you lads.”

“We are fully aware of this, mate. We spend every moment of our lives ridiculously grateful for all we have been given,” Richard assured Jeremy as he twisted his fingers around James's.

“Especially today,” James kissed Richard's temple.

Jeremy nodded, appraising them for a few moments. Finally he leaned back in his chair, “Okay, I am starting to get it, but you still haven’t answered my question: How long has this been going on?”

“Like James said it depends on who you ask. As far as James and me are concerned, it will be 10 years in September. The therapist we saw wanted us to wait until I was really cleared up and felt more emotionally stable to start a… um… physical relationship, so, outside of a few gentle kisses, we waited. The two weeks we went to Scotland on the first anniversary, James and Sarah came too. The first week while the girls were with my parents, we sorted everything out.”

James laughed, “By ‘sorted everything out’ Rich means that we shagged each other out for five days.”

“Again, ewwwwww,” Jeremy wrinkled his nose making the other two laugh. “And, since I am assuming that the other people to ask are your women, what do Mindy and Sarah say?”

“Mindy says that we should count from the day that I brought Legos to hospital. Sitting there watching us be ridiculous and fighting over pieces of plastic before Sarah pulled her out of the room to go for a sneaky glass of wine was the moment she realized that she could love us all,” James smiles gently at the memory.

Richard laughed, “In contrast, Sarah says it's at least as long as 15 years. She claims the first time we had dinner together, she knew we'd all end up in bed at some point. The rest of it, the emotional aspect has just been an added benefit.”

Jeremy nodded, “Just know that I will be speaking to both Mindy and Sarah to make sure they are as happy in this arrangement as you say.”

“Feel free,” James laughed. “Just be warned that Mindy might get soppy and Sarah might decide to over share.”

“One last question,” Jeremy half asked, half demands. “Who all knows about you all?”

“Mostly just our families, although considering all our siblings and their progeny and three sets of surviving parents that is a hell of a lot of people. Our agent and PAs.” James ticked off the list.

“Andy,” Jeremy asked.

They both shook their heads, as Richard said, “Wouldn't tell him without telling you and the timing was just never right. And we did try, mate, honest. The first year or so no one knew not even our families, we were all just waiting for things to fall apart. Then they didn't fall apart and just got better and better, so we started slowly telling our family. Once we gave them enough time to digest everything and learn to accept… um… us, we were going to tell you and Andy. But then, well, the rumors started about your affair and Andy had the rough patch with his family and you and Francie… yeah… um....”

As Richard faltered, James took over, “We finally decided we were just going to tell you and Andy, which is why that night in York we wanted a quiet dinner just the four of us.”

“Oh, god,” Jeremy ran a hand over his face. “This is what you had to tell us?”

Richard nodded as James narrowed his eyes and studied Jeremy, “What did you think we were going to tell you, Jez?”

“I thought the Beeb had offered you and Hammond to take over Top Gear. After Cars of the People I thought… well I thought you were being groomed for my position.”

“Jez,” James sighed, “why would you ever think that? Rich and I wouldn't do that to you.” 

“I know that now, ya bellend,” Jeremy's voice was thick and his eyes bright. “At the time though it felt like this was one more thing crashing and burning down around me. I thought I was losing you two and my show at the same time I was losing my mum, my family. I was so angry that night.”

“I’m so sorry, Jez. If we had known where your head was at, we would have done it a different way. I… We… Top Gear was your baby. Hell, we may talk about Grand Tour being ours, but really it is still more yours and Andy's then it will ever be Rich and mine. Not that we don't love it and didn't love Top Gear, but it is about the 3 of us doing this crazy thing together.”

“Besides, as you now know, James and I can't do twosomes,” Richard giggled, which set off the other two.

“Daft sods,” Jeremy smiled softly. “Well, since I don't think you will be leaving our crash hamster alone tonight, give me the keys to your hotel room and I will get out of here.”

“Um, I didn't bother booking one actually. Knew I wasn't going to leave Rich.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes, “This is what I get for trying to be a hero. Where I am going to find a room at this hour?”

“Sorry, mate,” Richard hesitated for a moment. “Look, if it won't bother you, then you can use the cot they brought in for James. I would rather have him here than over there anyway.”

“You sure, Rich? I don't want to hurt your knee.”

Richard put his hand on James's cheek, “I'm sure, Jay. You aren't going to hurt me and I really need to be close tonight.”

James nodded and turned his head to kiss Richard's palm.

“Will you be okay with that,” Richard asks Jeremy.

Jeremy sat up and observed the two men for a moment, “Yeah, as long as you two don't start dogging. Look, it is a shock, but then I guess it really shouldn't be that much of one. You two have always been close. I mean the races only worked when it was Clarkson v. Hammond and May, cause it felt like the natural order of things.”

Richard hummed in acknowledgement continuing to watch Jeremy and stroke James long arm.

“Can I ask a… delicate question,” Jeremy looked away for a moment.

“You can ask, but we don't guarantee an answer,” James smiled slightly.

“Fair enough,” Jeremy nodded before looking away for a moment. When he looked back at them there was a look of sincere wonder on his face, “How do you sleep at night?”

“For fucks sake, Clarkson, we already told you that there is no affair…”

Jeremy cut off the impending rant with a hand, “Not out of guilt, you dossy sod. How do you fit four adults into one bed? I mean Hammond and Mindy probably only equal one adult, but still.”

Richard looked slightly abashed, “Oh! It was a problem at first. We definitely didn't have big enough beds and, until the renovation is done, we still don't in Hammersmith cause there isn't the room. Sadly, we don't get to spend that many nights all together, probably only a dozen or so a month if that, but when we do, we have a routine. If we are just going to sleep, then whoever goes to bed first crawls into the middle and we just kinda arrange ourselves as we each turn in for the night. We all enjoy a good cuddle, so we fit nicely on a King bed.”

“Even Captain No-touch,” Jeremy nodded his chin in James's direction. “He's clinging like a wet limipit now, but I don't normally think of him as a cuddler.”

“You do realize that any character traits of mine that you feel obligated to add Captain in front of are mostly exaggerated for television, right?”

“Oh come on! You always tense up when I touch you. And wouldn't hug Ham… Oh, you didn't do that because of this, because...”

“Because if I did, I would never have let go. We were still working through some stuff, but being on that stage together I just couldn't trust myself to not give it all away. As for you, who wouldn't tense up when a giant approaches?” One look at Jeremy told James that the joke had fallen flat and sighed, “Jez, the truth is that there aren't many people that I allow to get that close. Outside of my family, you are one of the few people in my life that I don't move away from when you reach out to me. That said I genuinely crave the contact and affection of my partners and the girls.” 

“And he's a damn good cuddly toy, too,” Richard laughed.

Jeremy shuddered dramatically as he rose, “I'm going for a slash and my ablutions. Please get whatever snogging you want to do out of the way before I return and have to gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon.” 

“Jeremy, thank you for… well, for everything.”

Jeremy turned to tell James to stop being such a homosexualist, even if he was sleeping with a hamster, but the words died in his throat. Before him he saw his two mates not as there were now, but as in that first news segment. James, his hair shorter and darker looking nervous, excited and slightly careworn like he was sure he'd be fired at any moment. Richard, his bushbaby eyes large, round, unlined and his face so eager to please. So much time and stress had greyed James's hair and lined Richard's eyes, but the joy had only grown in the two men. He swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat, “If you ever repeat this I will be forced to use my AK-47 on you, but, besides my children, you and Andy are the best things that have ever happened to me and the best part of me. I love you both.”

He turned and rushed into the bathroom missing the look of shock fade to soft smiles on his mates’ faces. In the moments that it took the Rimac to flip down that mountain, everything changed for the better.


End file.
